Random Stuff 3

A sack-a-teammate based deck for no reason at all, inclusive with some flavor text:

Redistribute

Instant
As an additional cost to play Redistribute, target teammate loses 3 life.
Redistribute deals 3 damage to target creature or player.

Jonathan's Miracle

Instant
Prevent the next 3 damage that would be dealt to each teammate this turn.
Once every 100 years, Jonathan does something useful. Okay, not that useful...

Mind Reader
2
1/2
Creature - Human Wizard
Whenever a teammate leaves play, you may draw a card.

Goblin Leader
1
2/2
Creature - Goblin Warrior
Pay 2 life: Goblin Leader gets +1/+0 until end of turn. Only your teammates may play this ability.
Uh, little help?

Last Throttle

Sorcery
Target teammate loses the game. Put X 1/1 white flying Spirit creature tokens into play, where X is that player’s life total.
“Sorry, won’t happen again.”
— Jonathan

Jonathan's Favourite
6
0/3
Creature - Tetravite Citizen
Jonathan’s Favourite attacks each turn if able.
When Jonathan’s Favourite comes into play, you may sacrifice any number of teammates. For each temmate sacrificed this way, you may put a copy of Jonathan’s Favourite into play.
“Sorry, but I really wanted to get this out. It’s pretty cool, huh?”
— Jonathan

Airborne Advisor
3
2/2
Creature - Faerie Wizard
Flying
, Remove the top X cards of target teammate’s library from the game: Look at the top X cards of your library, then put them back in any order.

Annoying Move

Instant
Annoying Move can’t be played unless a teammate left play since your last turn ended.
Target creature is unblockable this turn.
“A bit late now, isn’t it?”
— Multiple

Jonathan the Maher
4
0/3
Legendary Artifact Creature - Myr
Affinity for Demon Angel Squirrel Faeries, Defender
, Sacrifice a teammate: Until end of turn, you can’t lose the game and opponents can’t win the game.
"Wait, I think I can win..."

Jonathan's Curse
7
Enchantment - Aura
Enchant player
You can't win the game if you control no opponents.
Enchanted player is your teammate.

Scavenge Soul
1
Instant
You gain life equal to the amount of life your teammates lost this turn.
“Thanks!”
— Jonathan

One-Headed Giant
5
4/5
Creature - Giant Warrior
Trample
If you are playing two-headed giant and you would lose the game, instead your teammate loses the game and your life total becomes 10.

Backstabbing
3
Enchantment
At the beginning of youp upkeep, sacrifice Backstabbing unless you force a teammate to become your opponent.
1 : Gain control of target permanent if its controller used to be your teammate, but is now your opponent.

Jonathan's Goons

4/3
Artifact Creature - Myr
Jonathan’s Goons can’t attack unless you pay 2 for each teammate you control.
2, : Add to your mana pool. Each teammate loses 4 life.
They figured that they could burn those nice, helpful people if things got desperate. But then again, their definition of ‘desperate’ was slightly different...

I think I'll do Chris next...

Chris
1
*/*
Legendary Creature - Human Wizard
Chris's power and toughness are each equal to the number of rare permanents you control.
Rare spells you play cost 2 less to play.

Pricy Tutor
1
Sorcery
Search your library for a rare card, reveal it, and put it into your hand. Then shuffle your library.

Trade Me Trade Off
1
Instant
Choose one - Remove target common creature from the game; or target creature gets +X/+X until end of turn, where X is its Wizard's Cupboard price in US dollars, rounded up.
"Darn!"
- William

Rare Folder
4
Artifact
Whenever a rare comes into play, you may draw a card.

Vizzerdrixinize
1
Instant
Target dirty creature becomes a 0/1 Beast until end of turn.

Embellish

Instant
Until end of turn, each permanent you control is rare.

Yoink!
2
Enchantment - Aura
Enchant rare permanent
You control enchanted permanent.

Stunted Growth

Instant
Target creature gets +1/-2 until end of turn.

Shunting Season
3
Enchantment
Effects that would increase the toughness of a creature you control increase the power of that creature's power instead.
If you would make a cup of coffee, make two cups of coffee instead.

Coffee Boost
1
Enchantment - Aura
Enchant Creature
Enchanted Creature has " , Make a cup of coffee: Until end of turn, mana symbols are replaced with mana symbols.

Who's next?

Milo Boost 2 Milk mana
Make a milo target creature gets the sugary mess at the bottem tiped on them
NO MORE MILK 0
Target player gets blamed for the lack of milk
NO MORE FOOD 0
Max gets blamed for the lack of food
"And i thought jonnathan was the fat one"

No...

Well, No more food is reasonably accurate, but the other ones...meh.

Wow, emoticons can say so much, a smily truly is worth more than a hundred words...

Return of The Heavyweights

3
Instant
Put a 5/5 Giant creature token into play for each creature that left play this turn.

K.O 1
Target monster get placed in graveyard then returned to play for 2 mana of any colour

Invoke the Eyemeister
1
Instant
Split Second
Return target forum from a graveyard to play under your control.

Annoyance

Target person makes chris say when magic is on faster
target CHRIS actually places it on DURING THE WEEK

Form of the Jonathan

3
Enchantment
At the beginning of your upkeep, your life total becomes zero.
You don't lose the game for having 0 or less life as long as you have no teammates.
: Target player can't spell this turn.
: Target player becomes your teammate. Counter target spell.
"Hellp My!"
- Jonathan

Wizzard's Charm

Instant
Choose one - Wizzard's Charm deals 3 damage to target creature; or return target permanent to its owner's hand; or counter target spell with converted mana cost 3 or more.
"Why would I play something that doesn't irritate everybody?"
- William the Wizzard

Andy the Risen
3
Legendary Creature - Giant Dwarf
3/3
Whenever Andy the Risen deals damage, put a growth counter on it.
Remove a growth counter from Andy the Risen: Andy the Risen gets +1/+1 until end of turn.
"Who's Short Now?"
- Andy

Kevin's Attendance

Instant
Remove target nonland permanent from the game if it is being played in one of Kevin's decks.
"Where's K?"

Harris the Hairy
5
6/6
Creature - Ape Warrior
Harris the Hairy gets +1/+1 for each other Ape in play.
When Harris the Hairy leaves play, put a 2/2 legendary Ape creature token into play called Lewis the Slightly Less Hairy with "Lewis the Slightly Less Hairy gets +1/+1 for each other Ape in play."
"Hi."
- Harris

I love my one, lol.

lol
yah im taller than i used to be
i liike jonnies and willys lol

I'll find some pics for them

Nice!

lol
that rules
i like iraq one